Do we have copies of our new album for sale here? NO! Even better! We have copies of stuff that came out decades ago for sale here! We assure you you’re thrilled at this news!
MY FELLOW AMERICANS! NOW HEAR THIS! THERE SHALL BE A FLAT-RATE POSTAGE CHARGE OF $4.00 PER ORDER!!! FOUR BUCKS! FOUR BUCKS! FOUR BUCKS! OKAY! IF YOU ARE UN-AMERICAN, SCROLL TO THE BOTTOM FOR A FANTASTIC AMAZING DEAL NEVER TO BE REPEATED IN THE LIFETIME OF THE SPIRAL ARM OF THE MILKY WAY GALAXY! That said, CDs are $5, 45s are $3, and books are $11.
IF YOU LIVE OUTSIDE THE USA (first off, lucky you!): CDs and 45s are FREE. THAT’S RIGHT, FREE!!! Books are $5. The catch to this is that YOU PAY THE POSTAGE. International postage rates are FRICKING RIDICULOUS these days, so we are gonna just give you most of this stuff for free if you shell out the dough to ship it to you. Just tell us what you want (email us HERE), we’ll go to the post office, figure out how much it will cost to ship it to ya, then let you know what it’ll cost. Then you send us money and we’re all happy! TO REITERATE: IF YOU LIVE OUTSIDE THE US, CDs AND 45s ARE FREE, AND BOOKS ARE FIVE BUCKS. And then you pay the ridiculous postage charges. Ungovernable happiness will only lead you astray!