FAQ

So, are Boris back together now?

Not in the accepted sense of the term. We’re scattered across four zip codes, three area codes, and two time zones these days. We might get together and play a show once or twice a year – heck, we might even sneak out an album once in a blue moon – but we’re not gonna be a “real” band in the sense of regular practicing and gigging. We’ve practiced all of three times in the 2010s, if that tells you anything.


Why don’t you just get a lineup that lives in, like, three zip codes, two area codes, and one time zone and play more shows?

We like playing music together. Replacing ourselves with other people seems to run counter to that pursuit. Plus, we’ve seen bands with whom we used to play the punk circuit twenty or twenty-five years ago, and they come thru town, and it’s like the one main guy and two or three other dudes no one has ever seen before in their lives. Then they come thru town a year later and it’s still the one main guy but this time it’s two or three different other dudes no one has ever seen before in their lives. It doesn’t really seem like it would be all that fun or cool to do. 


Well, geez, what about Erik #1 and Ron, from the 8-Testicled Pogo Machine and Boris is Gay Lineups? What about Eric #2 from the Saucer to Saturn lineup? What about Tim Double Zero from the Suck lineup? What about LP, from that one split 7” on Dirtnap? Can’t you just raid the Boris Alumni labor pool and throw together a rotating lineup as necessary?

Those guys are all cool and fully Boris, but, for reasons of public safety, we have declared the Nørb/Paul #1/Ric Six/Paul #2 lineup to be fixed and immutable.


Are you playing any time soon?

No, but I assure you we’ll make a big deal out of it when we do, and you will be compelled by your strict moral code and the dread spectre of potential loss of social status to come check it out.


Don’t you have a new album out? Aren’t you supposed to tour when you have a new album out?

That’s not what the Beatles told us.


How did you manage to record Vespa To Venus if you live in four zip codes and three area codes and two time zones?

We honestly just learned the songs at our homes and showed up in the studio and recorded them without ever once practicing them together. PRO TIP: That’s kinda not how you’re supposed to do it. 


How did you wind up on Beer City Records?

SHORT FORM: Mike told us if we ever did a new album, he’d put it out. For a longer and more lurid explanation, kindly refer to The Annotated Vespa, accessible elsewhere on this site.


Is Vespa To Venus gonna come out on CD?

Yes.


When?

Working on it, jeez.


Do you have t-shirts? My torso is cold.

We’ll probably make a bunch the next time we play out, and sell what’s left over on the website. Don’t you have more than enough t-shirts at this point in time, though?


Is it true that Paul #1 lives in Tomahawk, Wisconsin – the hometown of Pickles from the Cartoon Network TV show Metalocalypse?

He does indeed!


Does Paul #1 ever jam with Pickles? If so, what do they sound like?

He does. They sound like what the White Stripes would sound like if they were dudes instead of chicks.


Where was the cover photo of Vespa To Venus taken?

The Czarnuska Soupbar – your one-stop trans-global soup resource center in hardscrabble Ephraim, Wisconsin. Try the kapusniak… if you dare!


Why does Ric Six live in New Jersey?

His religion demands easy access to Utz potato chips.


What does “FAQ” stand for?

“Fartin’ and Queefin’.” Thank you for your interest in Boris The Sprinkler.